Monday, April 2, 2012

rape arguments in bars are rarely a good idea

top - talula, pants - justin timberlake's collection for target, bag - thrifted dooney & burke, boots - thrifted

Have you ever had one of those nights that when it's over you just go, "What the fuck . . . just happened?" Friday night was a bit like that for me. My friend Shiloh's band was playing at Pete's Tavern, as was a local band we went to high school with. Seeing as the show was in the next town over from my hometown, and the bands playing had members from my high school, I really should have expected the oh-my-god-high-school-all-over-again feeling. There were SO many people I went to school with there, and also just a lot of older hicks and other small town types.

At the bar, I bumped into a guy I didn't recognize but apparently he remembered me and Amanda from high school. Once one of the guys he used to hang out with showed up, I did start to remember them and we all ended up chatting. It was nice to catch up with some people from high school. Nice, but extremely weird.

Boys we used to know weren't the only people talking to us. We had several weird guys try to hit on us, get us to dance, and other general creepy behavior. Shiloh also overheard this guy in a black tshirt telling a girl that he would "like to eat cake off her tits." Yeah. Who could resist a line like that?

You know the guy from high school I didn't remember? He overheard me talking about about what a creep Dov Charney of American Apparel is and started arguing with me about how things he did were ok-ish. Things quickly got more general and we were talking about rape and sexual harassment and rape culture and the patriarchy. My friends, of course, were telling him to drop it, because I wasn't going to let it go when he was saying stuff like "girls should just say no and if they don't they're stupid" while I'm trying to explain things like enthusiastic consent to him. But of course, being totally drunk, he kept arguing. And so all my friends got up and left and watched from across the room. It wasn't an angry argument, in fact I was laughing most of the time and eventually I got him to agree with my basic arguments. Then he told me I was pretty and smart and asked for a hug. It was . . . an interesting night.

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